This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
