Don't you send me to vm
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
