If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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