I smell stomach acid.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
