He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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