some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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