I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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