Sober January is a disaster.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
We're hate flirting, damnit.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
