yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize