We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
someone owes me an orgasm
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
