I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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