Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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