sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Maybe he injected his testicle?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Enjoy the penises
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
