In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
