He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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