Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
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I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
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My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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