Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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