im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
