Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
