The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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