Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
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We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
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The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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