I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
