How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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