DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
