apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
