Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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