I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
