Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
