Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm bleeding and have questions
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
