My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
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I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
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Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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