Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
