I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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