I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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