I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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