i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
