I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
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So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
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I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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