The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
