He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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