Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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