youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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