I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
