ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
