Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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