You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
