OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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