I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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