The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
