Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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