it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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