im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
