Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
