so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
