Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
