one two three fourrrrnication!
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
There r osticjed everywhere
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
