When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
