i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
