i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
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