sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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