8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I wish they made helmets for livers.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?