You did not just play the dead husband card again.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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