i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
The air taste purple.
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