So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Your dad touched me again.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
