A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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