I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
