Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
