The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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