I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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