Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize