escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We are two peas in an std pod
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
