brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
