you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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