Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
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the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
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My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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