my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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